Vegeta's First Bar Experience
by ABitOHoney
Summary: Vegeta is somehow persuaded to join the gang in a night out at the bar, an activity Vegeta would normally avoid at all costs. How will Vegeta handle this new experience? Read to find out!
1. The Invitation

_Warning: Mild swearing and suggestive sexual content. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own the series DragonBallZ or the respective characters._

* * *

**Vegeta's First Bar Experience**

**The Invitation**

* * *

From inside the gravity chamber, Vegeta could hear the stupid clown talking to his mate, Bulma. He tried to ignore the sounds of the two idiots chatting and laughing foolishly, but he was actually quite curious as to why Kakarot had stopped by. 

"He's training in the gravity room of course," Vegeta heard Bulma declare from down the hallway. Vegeta cursed to himself, "Damn it. She just had to tell him where I was." He turned to the entrance of the gravity room, preparing for his unwelcome visitor.

As Goku opened the door to the gravity room, Vegeta stood with his arms crossed, smirking arrogantly as usual.

"Come to get your ass beat Kakarot?" Vegeta questioned proudly.

Goku laughed sheepishly, his hand behind his head. "No Vegeta, actually I came here to invite you to join me and some of the guys tonight. We're going to a bar, whatever that is. Yamcha and Krillin say it's a good time," Goku explained.

"And just what makes you think I would want to waste my time with you and your idiot earth friends?" Vegeta snarled.

"Well, Piccolo is coming, if that helps," Goku replied helplessly.

"What the hell is in it for me?" Vegeta retorted.

"Gee Vegeta, I really don't know. I'm not sure what this place is really. Bulma even suggested that you go," Goku tried to plead with Vegeta.

A "Humph" was all Vegeta gave in reply. Goku stood and pondered for a moment until a bright idea hit him. "If you come with tonight I promise I'll spar with you all day tomorrow. I'll even let you win a few times," Goku piped excitedly; sure that Vegeta could not refuse a fight with him.

Vegeta furrowed his eyebrows, snapping angrily, "Let me win!? Let me?! I don't even have to use my full potential to beat you, you third class clown!"

Goku laughed sheepishly again and corrected himself, "Sorry Vegeta, I'll spar with you tomorrow. We'll just leave it at that. What do you say?" He gave his best puppy-dog face he could manage, not that it ever had the effect on Vegeta as he hoped.

Vegeta scowled for a few more moments at Kakarot until he cooled down enough. "Fine! I'll go to your stupid 'bar' or whatever the hell you called it, but I won't stay long!" Vegeta barked.

Goku smiled enthusiastically. "Yippee! I'll come by a little later this evening! See you then Vegeta!" And with that Goku took off, flying out of the gravity chamber.

"What have I just gotten myself into?" Vegeta asked himself.

* * *

Later that evening, Vegeta found his training interrupted once again, though this time by his 8-year-old son.

Trunks popped his head through the door to the gravity chamber, looking quite fearful of his father. "Dad, dinner is ready." When Vegeta did not respond or bother even acknowledging him with a glance, Trunks continued, "Mom said if you don't come to the dinner table now, you're not getting any food for the rest of the night."

Vegeta spun around, his face contorted with irritation. "That damn woman!" he hollered, startling his son who now took off running down the hall. Wishing not to miss out on a meal, Vegeta dragged himself away from his training and into one on the many dining rooms of Capsule Corp.

As Vegeta entered the room and took a seat at the table, he noticed Bulma's threatening glare from across the other side of the table. "What?!" he growled, not enjoying the nasty face she was giving him.

"You had better go tonight! Goku really wants you to go with him," she demanded.

"I don't care what Kakarot wants!" Vegeta snapped back and began stuffing his face.

"I'll take that food right out of your mouth if you disagree to go," Bulma threatened.

Trunks was sitting at the center of the table, looking quite uncomfortable. Arguments between his mother and father were certainly not uncommon, but he could never get used to it.

Vegeta smirked, though his mouth was still full of food. "Really? And just how are you going to do that?" he challenged.

Bulma's brows furrowed even more. "Don't start with me Vegeta!"

"Why not?" Vegeta questioned, his smirk growing as much as her anger. "I like when you're angry," he continued, his words coming out in a deep growl.

Bulma's cheeks turned slightly red, knowing full well what Vegeta was getting at. "I think you had better stop right there," she replied, taking her eyes away from her husband now.

Poor Trunks was now looking even more miserable. The angry sex drives of his parents were nothing he wasn't too familiar with either, but it was certainly more sickening than their verbal fights.

The three of them finished their dinner in silence, as usual, Vegeta being the first. He immediately stood to return to his training within the gravity chamber. As he made his way swiftly down the hall, he heard his woman yell after him, "You had better not 'forget' about going out with Goku tonight! And if you try to take off, I'll find you!" Vegeta snorted in amusement. He knew the woman could find him using her strange technological devices, but there would be nothing she could physically do to him once she did.

* * *

Vegeta had gotten in not much more than an hour of training when he overheard his mate and the idiotic clown Kakarot speaking again outside the gravity chamber. He powered down the chamber to Earth's normal gravity and stood in front of the door, arms crossed.

When Goku opened the door to the gravity room, he was somewhat startled to find a very sweaty and shirtless Vegeta standing before him. "Uhm, are you going out like that?"

"Is there a problem with the way I'm dressed?" Vegeta questioned, and then proceeded to lick off a bead of sweat that had formed on his upper lip. He smiled arrogantly, knowing he was discouraging Kakarot.

Goku gave Vegeta an unconfident smile and shrugged his shoulders. "Well, I guess if that's really what you want."

Bulma's head suddenly appeared beside Goku's broad shoulders. She looked Vegeta up and down, and then looked him straight in the eyes. "You are NOT going out like that. Go take a shower and put some decent clothes on!" she demanded. With that, she took off.

Vegeta scowled at Kakarot, feeling the urge to take his frustrations out on the idiot. "As long as I remind myself of your sickening harpy, I can tolerate my woman," he stated simply.

Goku cocked his head to the side, as if it would help him understand what Vegeta was getting at.

"Forget it," Vegeta grumbled as he pushed himself past Kakarot.

* * *

After a brief shower, Vegeta slipped into the khaki pants and pink button-up shirt that Bulma had lain out on the bed for him. The feminine floral-colored shirt made him sick to his stomach, but the outfit was his mate's favorite.

He made his way downstairs, and found Bulma and Kakarot talking and laughing by the front entry door. He hated hearing the two get along so well. Though he would never admit it, he was quite jealous of the close relationship Kakarot had with his mate. Vegeta reassured himself that even though Goku may be better at the conversations with Bulma, not anyone, not even Kakarot, could top Vegeta's actions in bed.

"You're so cute!" Bulma exclaimed, thrilled to see her hubby dressed in her favorite shirt. "You two have fun! And behave yourselves… not that I really have anything to worry about with either of you."

Vegeta followed Goku out the door, feeling terribly apprehensive about the upcoming events. "So did you find out what a 'bar' is?" he questioned as the two of them took flight.

Goku shook his head. "No, Master Roshi said it was a great place. That's all he told me."

"You took advice from that perverted old geezer?!" Vegeta snarled, flying close beside Kakarot.

Goku laughed. "He's not that bad!"

The rest of their flight went on in silence, which, unfortunately for Vegeta, gave him much time to worry himself. He was definitely not a social butterfly, nor was he the least bit fond of the human race. He feared what events the night may lead to.


	2. The Experience

**Vegeta's First Bar Experience**

**The Experience  
**

* * *

When they arrived at their destination, Vegeta was appalled by the surrounding conditions. He had never been to this side of town before, and it looked to be rather shabby. Despite his dread, he followed Kakarot into a building with a flashing red sign that read 'Bar'. 

Inside, Vegeta was even more horrified. The air was thick with smoke, causing him to nearly retch. There was loud music, or what Vegeta thought was just noise, playing over the speakers. As if the noise of the speakers weren't irritating enough to Vegeta, the dim-witted humans were babbling even louder. "I'm not stepping any further into this hell-hole!" Vegeta hollered to Kakarot.

"What?" Goku yelled, unable to hear over the noise that he was not accustomed to either.

"I'm going home!" Vegeta snarled and turned to leave from where he came.

Goku put his hand on Vegeta's shoulder, gently preventing Vegeta from leaving. "Please don't leave Vegeta. I don't want to be the only one new to this," he pleaded.

Vegeta let out a sigh, though Goku could not hear it. "Fine! But only for a little while."

Goku guided Vegeta towards the back where his friends all sat lined up at a long table that sat in front of a stage. Krillin, Yamcha, Master Roshi, and even Piccolo sat on the stools along the bar table.

"Hey Goku!" Krillin exclaimed when he turned his head and noticed his friend's arrival.

Master Roshi and Yamcha also turned and said their hellos. Piccolo, however, did not greet Goku, his expression showing he was extremely annoyed. He sat a few seats away from the others, being just as antisocial as Vegeta.

Goku took a seat beside Krillin and motioned for Vegeta to sit between him and Piccolo.

Vegeta sat down and stared at Piccolo, not caring how obvious he was.

Piccolo turned to stare right back. "You got a problem?" he growled.

"No," Vegeta snapped. "What are you doing here?"

"I should ask you the same question," Piccolo retorted.

Vegeta didn't reply, and instead took a minute to observe the 'bar'. The first thing he noticed perplexed him. On the stage before him were skinny poles that extended from the floor to the ceiling. He looked down the table and observed Krillin and Yamcha were both drinking from strange glass bottles that sat on the table in front of them. There were several empty ones sitting there as well. He wondered what they had contained.

Vegeta's observations were interrupted when a scantily dressed girl approached him at his side. "What can I get you?" the girl asked while smacking her chewing gum annoyingly.

Vegeta glared at the woman before him, with no idea what she was asking him. Yamcha noticed Vegeta's confusion and hollered down to the waitress, "Marron, get him a glass of your best whiskey, and put it on my tab!"

"Sure thing Yamcha," the woman yelled back, flashing Vegeta a flirty smile as she walked away.

Vegeta shot a fierce look at Yamcha, knowing he was up to something. He turned to Piccolo and whispered, "What's whiskey?"

"How should I know?" Piccolo grumbled, staring at the full beer that sat in front of him and wondering the same things. Yamcha had ordered him the beer, but he was too fearful of the mysterious liquid. It smelled horrible, though not worse than the sticks that many of the humans had smoldering in their mouths. He turned his head to look at Vegeta, who was staring at his beer. "Did you want this?" Piccolo asked as he pushed the beer in front of Vegeta.

Vegeta picked up the bottle and examined it closely. He took a small sip, and found the taste somewhat satisfying.

By the time the waitress had returned with Vegeta's drink, he had already polished off the bottle of beer. The girl set the drink down in front of Vegeta, then made her way down the table to Yamcha, who proceeded to flirt with her.

Goku moved his seat closer to Vegeta's. "How's it going?" he whispered, noticing Vegeta was already half way through his drink.

Before replying, Vegeta downed the rest of his whiskey. "Fine," he grumbled. Goku noticed his posture was a bit slumped, but seeing that Vegeta was no longer so irritated, he smiled and turned back to Krillin.

As the girl talking to Yamcha turned to leave, Vegeta waved his hand at her, motioning her over to where he sat. "Woman! Woman, come over here at once!" he demanded, his voice slurring just slightly. When the girl stood at his side, he continued his demands. "Bring me another one of these liquid refreshments!" He shook the empty glass around in front on the girl. She looked a bit offended by his attitude, but took his empty glass despite the feelings.

A sudden change in music caught Vegeta's attention. He looked up at the stage in front of him as several scantily clad girls strutted out from behind curtains. When he heard excited giggling, his attention was drawn towards Krillin, who sat with a giddy smile. Both Master Roshi and Yamcha were also smiling flippantly. With his eyes still on the stupid humans, Vegeta leaned closer to Piccolo and grumbled, "What's going on? What's all the racket about?" When he did not get a reply, he turned to Piccolo and was puzzled by his expression of pure discomfort. He returned his gaze once again to the stage to see what had Piccolo and the others so worked up. He was disgusted to discover that a girl was rubbing herself up and down one of the poles before him.

"Sir, here's your drink," came the voice of the waitress. Vegeta turned to her, his face stricken with repulsion.

"Woman, what is the meaning of this revolting display?!" Vegeta hollered as he pointed an accusing finger at the girl dancing on stage.

The waitress stared at Vegeta in confusion. "What do you mean? This is a strip bar you know," she pointed out.

"A strip bar?!" Vegeta questioned, "What nonsense are you speaking of?"

Feeling utterly confused and uncomfortable with Vegeta's display of frustration and naivety, the waitress quickly scurried off without replying to Vegeta's questions.

Vegeta's anger now rising to the point of turning him super saiyan, he glared at Piccolo as if to force an answer from him. But Piccolo's green skin had somehow turned a bright shade of red on his cheeks. Everyone's strange reactions and lack of answers were fueling Vegeta's rage. He turned now to Goku, who looked even more confused than he. Yamcha, Krillin, and Master Roshi were practically drooling over the girls dancing across the stage before them.

As Vegeta commenced his observations of the young women on the stage, he quickly consumed his drink once again, finishing it in a matter of seconds. He was now feeling more than good and turned to Goku. "Kakarot! What are these outlandish women doing?" he asked, his words extremely slurred. Goku eyed him with concern, noting the strange movements and speech impediments.

Krillin, who had overheard Vegeta's question, leaned back behind Goku to get a better view of Vegeta. He noticed Vegeta was completely sloshed, and stifled a laugh. "Vegeta, these girls are dancing to entice the men here," he explained, "They're entertainment." He sat back up and nudged Yamcha and Master Roshi. "Get a load of Vegeta you guys!" he snickered. Yamcha peered down at Vegeta, while Master Roshi remained with his eyes fixed on the girls. Yamcha couldn't believe what he saw. Vegeta was wobbling in his seat and mumbling obscenities at the women that were now stripping on the stage. Yamcha broke out into hysterics at the sight, while Master Roshi continued to ogle the young strippers.

"This is preposterous!" Vegeta announced and jumped to his feet. "These women know nothing about the proper mating dance!" Everyone around him, including his cohorts, stared at him in awe. Yamcha still laughed boisterously at the drunken Vegeta. Vegeta flew up onto the stage, startling one of the dancers nearby. Everyone in the bar went silent as Vegeta began unbuttoning his shirt while rubbing himself up and down one the poles.

A couple of men, including Yamcha, hooted and hollered at Vegeta in pure amusement. Goku watched curiously, not really sure what to think. Then Vegeta flung his shirt at Goku's face. Goku removed the shirt and turned to Krillin. "What's going on Krillin?" he questioned, "What is Vegeta doing?"

Krillin sat mesmerized for a moment, gazing at Vegeta with far more interest than necessary. "I… I think I like men now," he whispered, though only intending to speak it in his mind.

Vegeta's pants came off next, this time landing in front of Krillin. Yamcha was at this point laughing so hard that tears poured down his face. Piccolo looked as if he was close to hurling up his insides, while Goku was still perplexed by Vegeta's strange behavior.

Vegeta was now crawling across the stage on his hands and knees like a cat wearing nothing but his tight pink undies, waving his rear around for the audience to see.

Yamcha suddenly bolted off towards a pay phone at the other side of the room. After making a brief phone call, he returned to his seat to continue laughing at Vegeta.

Vegeta stood on his knees and began pelvic thrusting towards the spectators with a lustful look in his eyes.

Unable to stand it any longer, Piccolo took off to the restroom where he proceeded to dry heave.

Not long into Vegeta's performance, Bulma came charging into the bar. Yamcha waved her over to where he sat at the back of the room. "Bulma! Over here!" he called out.

Bulma stormed angrily up to Yamcha, her hands on her hips. "What do you want Yamcha? What was so important that you had to interrupt my work?" she hissed.

"Look!" Yamcha giggled, pointing to the stage.

Bulma turned to the stage, but was not prepared for what she saw. Vegeta was crawling around the stage in his underwear, obviously way too drunk. She turned back to Yamcha. "You idiot! Why did you let him do this?!" Yamcha only laughed, the tears returning once again. Bulma approached the stage and hollered up to Vegeta, "Vegeta! Get down here right now!" When he didn't respond, she stormed up the stairs at the side of the stage and grabbed Vegeta by the arm, dragging him off the stage.

At the bottom of the steps, Vegeta looked drunkenly at Bulma. "Hey there. You're pretty damn hott. I've already got a mate, but if you play your cards right, I might just let you call me Prince," he slurred.

Bulma cringed, smelling the overwhelming stench of alcohol on Vegeta's breath. "We're going home Vegeta," she snarled, dragging Vegeta towards the exit.

Vegeta smirked conceitedly. "You're pretty quick aren't you? Taking me home when I don't even know your name." His words were so slurred it made Bulma almost sick.

The crowd cheered and whistled at Vegeta as he stumbled out of the bar with Bulma.

* * *

Back at Capsule Corp, Bulma carried the drunken Vegeta into the living room where she dropped him onto the couch. 

"You just can't wait, can you," he growled huskily. "You want to do it right here right now, don't you?"

Bulma rolled her eyes and walked away, leaving Vegeta to slowly slide off the couch and eventually pass out.

* * *

_A/N: So, what did you think? Delightfully humorous, or dreadfully frightful? It made me laugh writing it.  
_


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